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Thursday, December 29, 2022

Things Charlie Says - Top 10 2022



Charlie, my Dad-in-Law, has Alzheimer's. He lives with us. These are the top then things he has said (from my Facebook posts) and ranked according to "likes.


(based on the number of likes)
This year has been a tad more understated with respect to the things that Charlie says. Charlie sleeps more and says less -- even as he says less - more often. Even so, his razor wit shines through. Even more important, his thankful heart glows fierce.
.





Ten:
Charlie: Why am I here?
Kirk: You have a condition called Alzheimer's. Loss of Memory.
Charlie: Well I remember....
Peeing in the Panama Canal. Jean, do you remember peeing in the Panama Canal?
Jean: NO CHARLIE, I do not remember Peeing in the Panama Canal!
Charlie: Not everyone can remember peeing in the Panama Canal.
.
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Nine
It is 5:30AM. I would like to sleep in but Charlie is up and rummaging through the fridge. Charlie and I are eating mini ice cream bars. I gobble mine in three bites, Charlie is holding his:
"You must be a consumptionist."
.
.
Eight
Charlie: Is Jeanie-weeny in the house.
Me: Yeah dad, She's here. She's sleeping.
Charlie: Well that's good. In heaven they don't sleep. All that stuff to do, but no sleeping. Because you never get tired. But I like to sleep. So maybe I don't want to go. Or maybe I can get my sleep right now. In preparation.
.
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Seven
Charlie: So what seems to be my problem. Why am I here?
Me: Well dad, you have some medical conditions, and Kerry and I are here to give you and mom some help.
Charlie: Really like what?
Me: Well you have three. Two that are harder on us, One that is harder on you.
First, you are deaf...
Charlie: That is not a problem. Just Yell.
2) You have Alzheimer's.
Charlies: What's that?
Me: You know, forgetfulness!
Charlie: Well I can believe that, I can't remember why I am here!
Me: So the last and final trial is this pee bag. (A Catheter) You have a broken bladder.
Charlie: THAT's Terrible. And good.
Me?????
Charlie: Now we have something to talk about.
.
.
Six
Me: Hey Dad, let me empty that for you.
Charlie: Why? You MUST BE THE PEE MAN!
.
.
Five
Charlie to Alex (my son in law):
So what is your name?
Alex: Alex
Charlie: Alan?
Me: AleX
Charlie: Lester?
Me: ALEX!
Carlie: Harrold?
ME: No Dad. AL-EX...EX. EX (as I make big Xs with my arms.
Charlie. Oh ALEX...Glad to meet you, my name is CharLEX.
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Four
Setting: We are at the dinner table chowing away. Our very bad dog has his muzzle right on my lap, pleading with his big silent eyes for food.
Charlie: That dog really loves you...he loves to watch you eat.
(Then turning to Jean)
I love you Jean, even when I'm not hungry.
.
.
Three
Charlie: FiVE Years!!! Why am I here?
Me: You have a condition called Alzheimer's.
Charlie: What's that, something to do with my hiney?
Me: (referencing one of his favorite jokes): No Dad, not Al's Hiney, Alzheimer's...loss of memory.
Charlie: Well that's good. I'd rather lose my mind than my butt.
.
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Two:
Chas: How long have I been here... A day or a week. ---
FIVE YEARS, you've got to be kidding. Well, thank you for taking such good care of me.
five minutes later:
Chas: How long have I been here... A day or a week. ---
FIVE YEARS, you've got to be kidding. Well, thank you for taking such good care of us.
ten minutes later
Chas: How long have I been here... A day or a week. ---
FIVE YEARS! you've got to be kidding. Well, thank you for taking such good care of me.
(Repeat....)
---
Sermonette: The irritation of serial questions is a LOT easier to swallow when the same is accompanied by a thankful spirit.
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
(I Thessalonians 5: 16-18)
.
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One:
Charlie: How long have I been here, a day or a week?
Me: Five years.
Charlie: FIVE YEARs...!!! I don't remember a thing. So why am I here?
Me: Because you don't remember a thing.
Charlie: I feel like I just woke up.
ME: You feel that way everyday, all the time!
Charlie: Well at least it doesn't hurt. But it is mysterious.

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